Woke up today around noon and immediately hopped in the shower. The get-together I mentioned in yesterday's blog was today at 2pm. The get-together was for grandparents day and we had it at my dad's mother's house. We ate, we laughed, we took millions of pictures (which the baby didn't like one bit...you could tell by the way he was trying to cover his face lol) and we just hung out. We left around 4 (if memory serves) and headed back home. Hubby took a nap (as he had to work tonight at 11pm) and I got on the computer and started my blog thing.
So, I have no real reason to be late for this blog other than the fact that I've been catching up on some blogs that I might follow. I say might because I want to read some (okay all) of what the person has posted up to this point. I know it's a bit stalkerish but I don't want to follow a blog that's essentially an online encyclopedia. I like to hear about other people's lives. The ups, the downs, the all arounds. It's why I started a blog. Not only to, hopefully, keep up with my writing, but to share my life's story with whoever will listen.
With that being said one of the blogs I'm currently reading right now is Pagan Culture (I think I'm up to March of 2013! That's quite a feat seeing as she's been on this blog since 2009). And one of her posts got me thinking back on my wedding. I won't go into detail about what was in the post as it's not my place to tell another person's story. But I have linked back if you would like to read it. At the end of this post she posed two questions:
1. “Is it ridiculous to want the perfect wedding?”
2. “What if I don’t have the wedding I’ve always wanted, and that ends up ruining my marriage and relationship?
My wedding, to most, would be described as quite simple and small. I've always dreamed of having, what in my opinion was, the "perfect wedding" but I knew that Hubby and I wouldn't be able to afford it. At most we had $3,000 that we could safely budget for the wedding. So, out went the plans of hiring a baker for the cake and a DJ and a wedding planner. I did it all (with a little help from my friends and family).
Using the small budget we had we got a great venue for the wedding/reception at the American Rose Center (since re-named the American Rose Society) for only a third of our budget (I know a third sounds like a lot but to me it was a blessing from the Goddess as I had never heard of anyone getting a place so beautiful for so little). We found my wedding dress at a small boutique for only $65. We bought many of our items at the local Wal*Mart (guest book, cake stand, fake flowers, etc.). I made the bouquets using ribbon and fake flowers. My mother and I baked the cake ourselves the day before. Finally, I created and printed out all of the invitations and "Thank You"s.
It was the most hectic, strained, loud, nerve-racking, head splitting, beautiful day of my life. After all the screaming and tears the only thing that mattered was that my love and I exchanged our vows and were together. We had it in the middle of the week so not everyone was able to attend (if memory serves we had 26 people there which included the guests, the wedding party, and the JP), and it wasn't big and elaborate but it was our wedding and it was special to us. One day we'll renew our vows and have the big ceremony I've always dreamed of, but it isn't a necessity to our happiness or our marriage.
So to answer the questions from Pagan Culture's blog:
1) There's no such thing as the perfect wedding. Things go wrong. People fall out. Plans change. In the end it's just you and the person you're marrying. As long as you both are happy then what does it matter? Besides no one ever said you couldn't have a bigger wedding down the road when finances are more stable.
2) If you don't have the big wedding and it ruins your marriage then, in my opinion, you weren't ready to be married yet. Something so trivial (yes trivial) as a wedding can't destroy a marriage if it's made to last. Some women just want the wedding. To make things last you must want a marriage.
What are your views on this? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
)o( Jena
I totally agree, no such thing as a set perfect wedding--different people want different things. And on a sad note, the couple the post was about is not longer together. They called off the wedding over money--he wanted to go small, she wanted all out.
ReplyDeleteI think we should do what our hearts need, and our wallets can support.
As I said before, in the end as long as you and the person you're marrying are happy then it doesn't matter what the wedding looked like.
DeleteI'm sad to learn that they're no longer together. But maybe, one day, she can learn to be happy with what she has.